Bad Day

Penguins make me feel better

I have hit a slump. I don't like my job, I don't like how busy the holidays are becoming, I don't like that my husband's schedule is so sporadic, I don't like that the phones at work have been ringing off the hook and I can't concentrate on anything, and I don't like how stressed I am. I don't like my life right now. Tomorrow is a new day, blah blah blah, this is just a phase, ya ya ya, *insert useless expression that gives zero comfort here*. I spilled coffee in my car today on my way back from Starbucks, which never happens to me. That was the icing. I'm just waiting for some other unusual and frustrating thing to happen, that is sure to be the proverbial cherry on my crap sundae.

I don't ususally complain this much. While I call myself a realist, I am a realist that tends to lean towards the optimistic side of things. I have always been good at seeing the silver lining. I was abused, but now I have a story to tell. I went to a church where I wasn't valued and respected by some key people, we moved to a city and a community where we both are. For big and stressful situations in my life, I can usually look in and say "it'll change, just be patient. You're doing ok." But today is one of those days where I am just consumed with this disdain for everything. When someone calls the switchboard at work, I get frustrated because I am focussed on something else. When I get a text, I push my phone away annoyed at the noise it makes. I am driving more impatiently than usual, and I have a rehearsal tonight that I'm not even slightly interested in attending because I don't want to sit with a bunch of people for several hours that I don't really want to see. This isn't even what I wanted to write about today, but I can't remember for the life of me what it was that I had in mind, because I can't see past my own frustration right now. This sucks.

Ever have one of "those" days? There seems to be nothing that could get me out of this mood. I am just depressed and losing grip and hope, but I'm not entirely sure why. It's not just this day. I think it's been a slow and steady series of irritations leading up to this moment where I just want to hit something. The last (and only) time I did that I shattered a windshield...that was not a good day. So no, I shouldn't hit anything, especially not something breakable. So I guess I just wait until this day passes, and hope that "this is just a phase, blah blah blah..."

Ugh...

-SP