The Purpose Of This Blog Is...

I have run into some expected backlash regarding some of the things that I write about. I was asked to respect some one's privacy, and not post anything personal online. I sat with that comment for a while. I thought hard about what I have written. I looked back at some more personal posts, trying to find things that are inappropriate and disrespectful. I prayed about that request, had a few conversations with wise people about it, and then decided not to heed it. This post will explain why, and also clearly state the purpose of this blog.

When I started this blog, I had a vision in mind. I eventually want to write a blog that more specifically addresses the hurts that I experienced in my childhood. I have written frequently on being abused as a child. I would love to be able to share my experiences of hurt and God's amazing healing to an audience that needs a voice. I will do that, once I have a bit more of a game plan and some key supporters in tow. For now, I am testing the waters, seeing how many people would be interested and involved in a personal account of my current life using stories and experiences that aren't necessarily linked to the child abuse of my father, but instead what I am currently learning and processing through as an adult, a friend, a wife, and a survivor.

I titled the blog "Make Me A Rainbow". That is a plea to God. I want to live for His glory and desire for Him to make my life a bright and beautiful rainbow of colour that it might please Him. The description of the blog is simply "living life in colour". Life isn't black and white. There aren't step by step processes and no one fits in a mold, so it's a constant learning process. And the colours in life aren't always beautiful and bright pinks, golds, and reds. Sometimes they are dreary browns, lifeless blues, and puke greens. I intend to write while keeping in mind that life isn't always hunky dory. Sometimes it is full of beauty and triumph and joy, and in other times it is hard and seems hopeless. I desire to be real, and not selective, while respecting the people that may be involved in my journey.

How another one of my 'kids' sees Jesus

When I began my blog, I knew that eventually someone would point out the controversial things that I blog about. But the purpose is not to stir up controversy and make people talk. No. It's about using my own life as an example of God's beautiful peace and love, for I know it. Sometimes I write in the thick of the moment, when I am hurting and questioning, but I know unequivocally that resolve and peace will come, for I have trusted my life and my situations to God. I gave a lot of thought to how I should write upon starting this blog. Here are the things that I have committed to.

I will never use real names. While the situations are real, I will never point out who you are to those that are reading. The only real name that will be given out is my own first name. I have never even named my husband. And if someone were to privately ask me to confirm your identity, I would not.

I will never say anything that I would be ashamed to have you read. There is nothing on here that I wouldn't say to your face.

I will never intentionally disrespect you. The purpose is not the paint you in a bad light. Not even the man who abused me. I will never call you derogatory names. While I will sometimes speak of my own assumptions and opinions, I will be clear that they are not necessarily truth, and I could be wrong, but they are instead fueled because of how I am feeling. I am not above reproach, and will not pose my personal opinions as truth, for there are several sides to a story, not just my own.


I will not accept anonymous criticism. I do welcome your thoughts, however critical, but I want there to be a name attached even if I don't know who you are. If you are nervous or witholding your thoughts because you don't want others to see them and know who is speaking, or you think that you may be the subject of the next blog, I promise that will never happen. As stated earlier, the purpose is not to paint you in a bad light, and I do want to hear your thoughts. You can alternatively email me, and I will do my best to hear and acknowledge you there. Just as I dislike anonymous criticism, I also kind of dislike anonymous encouragement because I would love to know who is speaking. You get a huge open window into my life, all I ask for is your name.

I write for many reasons, the largest being that I have had a lot of people contact me because they are encouraged by my journey and my honesty. I have had countless people contact me via email, comments, or personal messages saying that they are happy to know someone who has 'been there'. I have had opportunities to share about the perfect love I have come to know because of the life events I share. And there are few people that I would censor myself for, given the intent of this web space.

If my father were to come across this blog and ask that I take down some entries and discontinue writing about them, I would tell him no. Not enough people are open about their experiences, their hurts, and especially not about the healing process. I desire to be open about those and other experiences, because I have had many people tell me that my journey, or aspects of my journey, are relatable. I felt so alone for so long in my life, because no one spoke out about common hurts. I refuse to be silent, both about the abuse I have suffered and the day to day life choices I am working through. I won't make a concession to be quiet about the deepest hurts of my life and the process of healing, so why would I do that for other, far less controversial hurts that I am currently working through? I accept that there may be consequences for this point of view, and that I may lose some people along the way. I expect that not everyone will be happy with my choice. But it is a worthwhile battle for me, knowing the positive impact my vulnerability has made in the lives of people that I know, and the strangers that I would love to get to know.

If you are offended by what is contained in these pages, don't read. You are not required to read this. And if you do decide to read, you are not required to agree with me. You are welcome to contact me if you think that I am crossing a line, and I will carefully consider your words. I will not dismiss your concerns, I promise you that. I encourage you to respond in a grown up manner. Don't become bitter and angry and never confront me. If you are hurt, you need to tell me; I can't know that you are hurt unless you say something. I am happy to explain myself to anyone, and listen to and validate any concerns or questions you may have.

-SP