Must Have Superpowers

It's been one of 'those days'. Not in the negative sense. It's actually been a mediocre day full of routine and mindless tasks with no really notable events or happenings. But I think that's what is making it one of 'those days'. Yesterday was extraordinarily satisfying in ways that I didn't expect it to be. My husband did house work while I was at my day job. I kept busy with the paperwork overflowing in the inbox on my desk, and knocked eight things off of my lengthening to-do list. I felt productive. And then I got home, made a fantastic salad for dinner with grilled chicken and garlic toast, and sat with my husband watching hockey and season premiers while eating perfectly seasoned popcorn. It was a good night.

Love :)

Today, I expected much the same sort of day. I got to work with the best of intentions, but then hit the proverbial wall about an hour into sitting at my moderately clean desk. I looked at my list, the list that I had seemed to conquer the day before, and felt overwhelmed and buried alive in endless tasks, questions, and expense reports. I will go home to a clean but empty house, awaiting the return of my husband from his teaching, maybe playing some video games. I have been having an off hair day. It's not entirely bad; most of it is sitting exactly where I placed it at 8 o'clock this morning. But I can feel it falling out of place and that annoys me. Of the twelve things sitting on my list for the day, six are completed, but two were completed by a colleague. I feel slightly less productive, less accomplished, and much less motivated than yesterday. And it's only Tuesday. Oh gosh.

I have spent much the day reading excerpts from a couple of my favourite blogs, including Hyperbole And A Half and Calling People Names (the latter of which can be quite graphic and full of bad language...do not read if you are sensitive to dirty jokes and swear words, or if your parents tell you not to). And I got to thinking. I wish I had some superpowers. Surely, they would be unconventional and nonsensical. But I could use the power of hair awesomeness right now, among other things. So here are the superpowers I wish I had, and if someone ever develops the ability to have these, I would volunteer to test them. I don't care about the consequences.

1. Awesome hair, all the time!

Come on, ladies, you know you want it. The ability to wake up in the morning, shampoo, blow dry, and go with the most beautiful flowing locks with minimal effort and product. Not that I have long hair; I rather like my short Riri inspired cut. But it requires more finesse. I need to gel, spray, fondle, move, spray again, brush, spray...I wish for it to be awesome all the time.

2. Flatulence that never smells

You know those times when you're in the grocery store, and someone drops a bomb and then scoots away quickly so you don't know exactly who it was? It was me. Sorry.

3. Zero Insomnia

This is a good one. Last night, 11 o'clock rolled around. My brain knew it was bed time. So I went and got ready, and laid awake for who knows how long, trying to convince my awake mind and restless body that it was, indeed, time to sleep. I seem to have this problem more often lately.

4. More money

This isn't exactly a superpower. Mind you, none of these are. I just titled it like I did so you would read. Yes, I did, in fact, attempt to lure you in with an interesting title. Don't be mad. You like it. Now, more money, not really a superpower, but definitely would be cool. Now accepting donations.

-SP