Home Sweet Home?

So this is the New Year
And I don't feel any different

Ok, that's not really true, but that is a great song. I feel renewed, full of hope, and happy. This past weekend was good and refreshing and very full. My husband and I travelled to Edmonton for a wedding on January 1st. I was happy for the excuse, because I hadn't been back 'home' in months, and hadn't seen many friends for a long time. And this wedding was a bit of a reunion for me. I saw people that I hadn't seen in years; people that I had grown up with in some capacity, but I had fallen out of touch with for one reason or another. It was good to see them, touch back into their lives and learn about what they have been doing and have them learn a bit about me. I enjoyed it a lot.

The strangest thing about being in Edmonton was that it no longer felt like home. Not even a little bit. It felt familiar and somewhat comfortable, but I felt as if I didn't belong there. I had spent over 21 years of my life living in and around the city. I know it. I know the buildings, the side roads, the construction. I have memories and friends and attachments there. But I don't have roots there. Not anymore.

Friends :)

I'm not sad about that. I have grown up a lot in the past couple years. I think that ultimately my husband and I were able to move because our roots weren't as deep as we had thought they were. There was little holding us to that place. But it was a strange feeling to drive along roads that I know like the back of my hand and not feel as if I could stay there and belong.

It is good to have friends there, though. I loved being able to spend my time with those people. I relished the opportunity to make new memories with old, steadfast friends. They are loyal and just, and I love them with all my heart. They made it worth it to go back. They always will. I left joyful and with many photos that I can look back on with fondness, remembering the time that we spent together. It was good.

I think that going back, seeing some of my family and many of my friends, was a great experience for me. But I am very glad to be back in Calgary. I am relaxed here. The city is a bit more unfamiliar, the places more strange, but my roots are deep and there is a definite place carved out for me with my friends and community. My heart is sheltered and at ease. It's good to be home.

-SP